


Cheez-its and Mini Donuts

by ofplanet_earth



Series: They Say These are the Best Years [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bard has a motorcycle, Bard is a cheeky little shit, Drunk Thranduil, Good Friend Bard, I am Thranduil, I just really love the stars okay?, M/M, Not exactly slow burn, Quintessential High School Party, Thranduil has a thing for guys on motorcycles, Thranduil is a closet dork, Thranduil is so embarrassed, Underage Drinking, american high school because I'm lazy, but it's no explosion either, fancy that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5417270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofplanet_earth/pseuds/ofplanet_earth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bard goes to a party in search of his friend. When he finds a very drunk Thranduil instead... well, they might not always get along, but Bard's not a complete asshole. </p><p>Prompt fill for Tumblr: "High School AU: Subtle Kindness and Tears"</p><p>AKA the much-requested sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5312126">The Princess and the Frog</a>!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cheez-its and Mini Donuts

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still sort of riding the NaNo high (and exhaustion, but I blame work for sucking my soul). I'm still shocked by the response I've had to these stories! people have popped by my tumblr to say how much they love them (The Princess and the Frog seems to be a favourite!) 
> 
> so here it is! the very much requested sequel to my High School AU! it's inspired by (but not at all based on) my recent experience with a bottle of red wine, Piehole, and Fireball (and the morning that followed). 
> 
> yay for new series!

Bard stepped through the front door and immediately remembered why it was he never went to parties like these. The air was heavy with smoke and obnoxious laughter, the ceiling vibrated with the bass of the music coming from upstairs and there were people everywhere. Drunk people. Everywhere. It was barely eleven and there were already people passed out on the couch and sprawled across the floor. 

Percy had called him half an hour ago, slurring his words and complaining that someone had taken his keys. Bard had sighed and climbed onto his bike. Percy _so_ owed him one. He started through the living room, trying to find his friend among the inebriated masses of the more rich and popular assholes of Esgaroth High. 

Needless to say, he wasn't having a good time. 

Bard spotted a girl he recognized vaguely and pulled her close so he could shout over the music. "Hey, have you seen Percy?"

"Seen who?" Her voice was high and bright and her breath reeked of vodka. 

"Nevermind," Bard mumbled and continued on down the hallway. He'd find the fucker on his own. If he knew Percy— and he did— he should check the bathrooms first. 

Bard poked his head through every open door— jeez, this house was huge— scanning every room for his friend. When he came to a closed door, he didn't think much of turning the knob and swinging it wide open. There was a couple making out on the bed and Bard was about to pull the door closed again when he caught sight of another person slumped against the wall. 

"Thranduil?" Bard squinted across the room as the mess of long blond hair caught the dim lamplight. His head landed against the wall with a thud and tipped toward Bard. Yeah, that was definitely Thranduil. 

Bard stepped into the room, completely unnoticed by the two people on the bed, if their escalating moans were anything to go by. 

"Hey, you alright Princess?"

Thranduil's eyes were glassy and wet and he looked at Bard with an unfocused gaze. He shook his head— really more like he lolled his head back and forth against the wall— and tears spilled down his cheeks. He didn't even react to Bard's insult. 

"Is there someone I can get for you?" Not like Bard was having any luck finding one person in this house. "Are those your friends?" He motioned over his shoulder, where a shirt had just been flung from the bed and onto the floor.

Thranduil shook his head again, his skin going pale beneath the drunken flush on his cheeks. 

"Oh god, are you gonna throw up?" 

This time Thranduil nodded his head. "Shit. Okay, come on. There's a bathroom across the hall." Bard grabbed Thranduil's wrist and draped his limp arm across his shoulder. He wrapped his free arm around Thranduil's waist, cringing only slightly at the cold sweat that had seeped through Thranduil's shirt. 

"Everyone out!" Bard called as he burst through the bathroom door. The smell of weed clung to the bathmat and the curtains; smoke swirled in front of the mirror and floated out the open window. Bard helped Thranduil to his knees on the cold floor and lifted the toilet seat. Immediately Thranduil doubled over and began retching. 

With a long-suffering sigh, Bard reached to pull Thranduil's long hair away from the toilet bowl and out of fermented danger. God, it smelled like cheap beer, strawberry vodka and pizza. No wonder he was sick.

Thranduil heaved and spat as Bard cringed. He still looked a little green when he lifted his head from the bowl, but Bard pulled off a section of toilet paper and held it out to him. He wiped his mouth and Bard filled one of the little paper cups on the counter with water. 

"I'm sorry," Thranduil whined. 

"It's alright." Bard sighed. He wanted to feel annoyed. He wanted to feel put out— he could be at home, listening to music in his room _alone_ right now— but the look on Thranduil's face was too sad for Bard to feel anything but pity. Bard helped him to sit back against the wall, still holding his hair away from his face and his sweaty neck. 

"I didn't even wanna come," 

"Yeah, me neither." Bard sighed. 

"Yeah?" Thranduil pried his eyes open, his head leaning heavily against the wall and his cheek pressed to the cool tile. "Who dragged you here?" 

"I came to pick up my friend," Bard shrugged. "I found you first." 

"I'm sorry," Thranduil frowned, as though the thought pained him. 

"Why did you come if you didn't want to?" 

"Fffffffferen and Tauriel. They begged me." 

"Where are they now?"

Thranduil's shoulders twitched in what was probably meant to be a shrug. "Ditched me." 

"I'm sorry," Bard said. 

"Fuck you, Bowman. I don'need your pity." 

"I don't pity you. I'm just saying, it sucks that your friends ditched you." 

Thranduil seemed satisfied with this explanation. He closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. "They're not really my friends," he mumbled. 

"Then why do you hang out with them?" 

"Better than nothing." Thranduil's shoulder twitched again. "How d'you do it?" 

"Do what?" 

"Have no friends." 

Bard chuckled. "I'll pretend you didn't mean that as an insult." 

"You know whaddimean." 

"Yeah," Bard tipped his head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling. "I dunno, I guess I just… prefer to be by myself." 

"I hate being alone." Thranduil slumped and dropped his head against Bard's shoulder. Bard didn't bother trying to get him to sit up again. 

"Why?" 

"I dunno. My house is too big. Too empty. Too sad." 

"See, I don't have that problem. I've got two younger sisters and we're all crammed into a tiny house. It's never quiet, never empty." 

"That sounds nice," Thranduil murmured. Bard let go of Thranduil's hair— he hadn't realized he was still holding it away from Thranduil's face. But Thranduil whined as soon as Bard let his hand fall away. Bard chuckled and reached up to run his fingers along Thranduil's temples. Thranduil hummed and nuzzled closer to Bard's shoulder.

"Why are you being so nice?" Thranduil asked after a long moment. 

"I dunno," Bard shrugged. "You just looked like you needed a friend." 

"But you don't even like me," he whined.

"You're alright," Bard laughed. "You have good taste in music anyway." 

"Thanks," Thranduil sniffed. 

"Come on Princess," Bard nudged Thranduil off his shoulder and laughed at the small whine it drew from him. "Let's go get some fresh air. Unless you're gonna puke again?" 

Thranduil shook his head. "Mm'okay," 

Bard helped him walk down the hallway, weaving around legs and sleeping bodies on the floor, stopping in the kitchen for some munchies. Thranduil giggled as Bard pretended to sneak the box of Cheez-its and a bag of mini donuts under his jacket and they made their way to the deck with their pilfered goods. It was early in November and the air was clear and crisp— a complete relief after the hazy atmosphere of the house. 

"Ooooh, look!" Thranduil leaned back in his chair, smiling and pointing at the night sky. "The stars are out!" Bard looked up too, not bothering to correct him and say the stars were _always_ out, that light pollution just hid them during the day. Actually, if he had to guess, he'd say Thranduil knew that already. Even drunk he could point out constellations— Orion and Cassiopeia and Perseus— even going so far as to explain their origins (mostly Greek). He sighed happily as he looked up. 

"What?" Thranduil had abandoned looking at the stars in favor of grabbing another handful of cheez-its and caught Bard staring. 

"Nothing," Bard shook his head. He hadn't been staring so much as he was thinking. Zoning out. He'd just happened to be looking at Thranduil when his thoughts had begun to wander. Nevermind that he was thinking about how Thranduil's dad hadn't _let_ him take astronomy this year, or how completely lonely he'd looked when Bard found him. Nevermind that he still hadn't looked away and that Thranduil was staring at him now, too. Nevermind that Bard was actually _enjoying_ his company, even if he was totally wasted.

Bard cleared his throat. "You really like astronomy, huh?"

"Yeah," Thranduil looked down to his lap and popped another Cheez-it into his mouth. It could be the light, but Bard could have sworn he saw a blush rise on Thranduil's cheeks. 

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "You feel okay enough for me to drive you home?" He asked. 

"Yeah," Thranduil nodded. Bard stood from his seat and Thranduil followed— surprisingly steady on his feet for someone who hadn't been able to walk less than an hour before. Bard led the way around the house and down the long driveway. Thranduil walked beside him in easy silence. 

"Oh my god," Thranduil said suddenly. Bard turned to see him stopped dead in his tracks on the pavement. 

"What?" 

"You brought your bike?" 

"It's the only ride I've got," Bard shrugged. "You're not afraid, are you?" he smirked. 

"No! I'm just— god, it's so cool! I could totally pull it off, don't you think? The Bad Boy Look with the leather jacket and the windblown hair and the motorcycle?" Thranduil skipped ahead and stood on the far side of the bike, one hand on the throttle and the other resting on the leather seat. 

Bard put his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket with a smirk. "It's cool, right? The _Bad Boy Look_?" 

"Oh my god yeah. And so hot," he gushed. 

Bard's smirk only widened. "Bad boy's gotta have a blond bombshell to ride with him, don'tcha think?" 

"Well yeah, it does sort of complete the image. You've gotta— _hey_! That's not what I—" 

"Sure Princess," Bard laughed and reached to unbuckle his helmet from the rack behind the seat. He held it out to Thranduil, still looking scandalized and _definitely_ blushing now.

"Asshole." Thranduil grumbled as he took the helmet and buckled it under his chin.

"You're the one who called me a bad boy," Bard winked. 

"I wasn't talking about _you_ , I just meant—"

"You literally described me, called me hot, and gushed over my bike." Bard climbed onto the seat and turned his key in the ignition. 

"Yeah but—" Bard revved the engine, effectively silencing all Thranduil's protests. He raised an eyebrow as turned the bike upright and kicked up the stand. 

"You coming or not, Princess?" Bard said over the grumble of the engine. Thranduil sighed dramatically and climbed on behind Bard. "Put your feet here," Bard pointed to the small pegs that served as footrests. "And hold on tight!" 

He could practically hear Thranduil's eyes rolling, but his hands came to grip at Bard's jacket as they pulled out of the driveway and into the night. His arms made their way around Bard's waist as they drove. Maybe Bard was showing off just a little, but it was worth it when Thranduil squeaked in his ear as they sped up to catch a yellow light. He squeezed Bard so tight when he took a sharp turn Bard could do nothing but laugh and pat Thranduil's hands where they were locked around his belly. 

It must have been almost 1am when they reached Thranduil's house, but the driveway was empty. Bard turned off the engine and held the bike steady while Thranduil climbed off. "Your dad's not home?" 

"No," Thranduil frowned. He unbuckled Bard's helmet and handed it over, running his hands through his hair to get rid of his helmet head. "He's on a business trip or something." Thranduil looked down to his feet where they shuffled in the gravel. 

"But at least you can listen to Nirvana as loud as you want," Bard smiled. He almost felt bad, leaving Thranduil to a big empty house now that Bard knew how much he hated it. But it was late and he was tired and Thranduil needed to sleep off the night.

"Yeah, I guess so." A small smile rose on Thranduil's face. "Thanks for the ride. And for listening to me babble— god I must have sounded like an idiot." 

"I've seen you dissect a cow eye with more grace than anyone else in our class _and_ geek out over the stars. If there's one thing you're not, Princess, it's an idiot." 

Thranduil smiled again, a small and shy curve of his lips that had Bard smiling, too. "Well anyway. Thank you. I owe you one." 

Bard shrugged. "I can think of a couple of ways for you to repay me," he smirked and watched as Thranduil glared at him, yet another furious blush rising on his cheeks. "See ya Monday, Princess."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](http://http://ofplanet-earth.tumblr.com). come say hi!


End file.
